Growing Old

So growing up has had some interesting and unforeseen consiqeunces. I know to expect a decline in health, eyesight, memory, etc.

What I didn't expect, is to start talking in my sleep.

It wakes me up every time (at least the ones I am aware of!). And one night I woke myself up gesticulating in the air.

So far, it is not regular acurrences, but fairly frequent. And each time my husband has not been home. I am pretty sure he would sleep through it. But if actions have been added, I may end up hitting him!

And will this evolve into sleep walking?

Health History

For those who receive this by email, this is a long and boring history mostly for my own benefit.

In 2007, when I was in the Primary presidency, I was getting migraines every Sunday. Sometime after moving to Maine, I realized I was getting migraines at least three times a week. That is when the long road really starts.

With all the cold, dark, and remoteness, my depression flared. Along with the realization how often the headaches were happening, I went to the doctor. She prescribed Welbutrin for depression and Propranolol for migraine prevention. Once the first took affect, I realized I had not been handling my depression as well as I thought I had for the previous five years. And once the second took affect, I was absolutely migraine free! Oh how heavenly!! Except for when on my period and I would have a migraine for 3-5 days straight. I could handle that.

After moving back to Yuma, the headaches returned. It took a long time, but I finally realized they were back up to at least three times a week. Back to the doctor I went.

Right at the time that I was painting our house that was under construction, I was given several new medications to try for prevention and one to stop a migraine once it has begun. None of the preventions worked. For the past year, I thought my whole body was falling apart. I had so many issues, but wanted to concentrate on the headaches and the fact that I was so fatigued. I started trying a chiropractor for the headaches that felt like they stemmed from my neck. I started trying neck and shoulder massages. Both worked great for those particular headaches, but to have constant treatments of both was going to cost $500 a month and did not prevent most of the headaches.

I finally realized that I was having some kind of headache every day. Different intensities, different parts of the head, but every day. I went back to the doctor. I listed all the symptoms: daily headaches, constant fatigue, daily diarrhea, feeling of nausea after eating sometimes, food getting stuck in my throat. This started rounds of blood tests. The first time 15 test were done. There was one that showed I had an autoimmune deficiency. When I looked that up, it includes everything from asthma, depression, hay fever, migraines. Well of course I would have a deficiency! But this brought on another round of 14 more blood tests. This round showed I was positive for Sjogren's Syndrome and I was sent to a rheumatologist. Looking that up, I found it is nothing but chronic dry eye and mouth. Nothing I had ever noticed before and certainly don’t care about compared to everything else.

But the rheumatologist specializes in autoimmune deficiencies. I did not like this doctor. I waited for 2 hours to be seen-every time I went into that office. When I filled out their basic questionnaire, I was honest and marked a few other pains and ailments I have had for as long as I can remember. Because I marked them, he focused more on those than why I was there. He never looked at me; I felt like he never really heard what I was saying and focused on the complaints that fit nicely within the issues he deals with most often in his office-arthritis. He had some more blood drawn for tests done in office and sent me to a lab for even more blood tests. At my next appointment, I found that all these tests were focusing on his idea of rheumatoid arthritis and lupus disease. He kept asking several times if I had joint pain. I don’t. I tried to be firm-without any eye contact-about the fact that I was there for headaches and fatigue. Could the fatigue be associated with the depression? He was abrupt that I would need to see a psychologist for that and a neurologist for headaches. He did then prescribe some kind of medicine that would be a type of “upper” to try to increase my energy.

I never did try that medicine because I did not want to have to go back to him. In the meantime I had found that I would not be purchasing a flower shop and many symptoms disappeared. This caused me to realize that some of the symptoms could have been associated with my previously diagnosed Irritable Bowel Syndrome. So I was back to focusing on the headaches and fatigue.

I went back to my doctor. She had previously asked about my depression and if I felt it was under control. Now I asked if maybe the fatigue was part of the depression and if we should try a medicinal supplement. I also asked if we could try increasing the strength of the Propranolol, since that had been a previously mentioned solution. She did both of those and referred me to a neurologist.

I went this week. I liked this doctor: constant eye contact, reiterating everything I said, letting me know the course of action and the whys of it. I was prescribed another preventative migraine medication, given samples of very potent meds specifically to stop migraines started because of the female cycle. And ordered an MRI and and EEG. Which is exactly where I new all of this would eventually lead.

The surprising piece of news was being told I had come to that office before. In 2004 because of depression and headaches. I have no recollection of this and makes me even more frustrated that this has been going on for much longer than I thought.

Mothering a High School Freshman

For years I have dreaded having girls turn 16, especially as that time gets closer. That means less control of their decisions, less time together as a family, trusting their judgment in boys, waiting up too late (for me) for them to come home. The list goes on.

I never thought I would actually start to look forward to when Erin turns 16. I never thought I would turn so much into my parents. I never thought it would take 24 years for me to understand one instance in time in my childhood.

Erin is the only girl her age in our ward, so she mostly has, and hangs out with, older friends. Older friends that drive and that don’t have to worry about if something is a date or not, because they are allowed to date. And these friends are both girls and boys.

So when this 14 year old wants to invite some 16 year old boys and girls to do something, we realize that even numbers of each gender looks like a group date. And then if we tell her the group has to have an odd number, what if the odd one doesn’t show? And just because there is an odd number, what is the intent? If the even  numbers are coming along with us on a family activity, do the parents being there negate the look of a date?

Then the 16 year old boy gets his driver’s license. If you are supposed to group date at that age, that means you should be avoiding situations that have a boy and girl alone together. Even more so for a 14 year old. So now she has to tell her very persistent friend that she cannot ride to early morning seminary and then to school alone with him in his vehicle.

And suddenly I am reminded of when I was in junior high and Robbie Budrow drove me home from school. My parents got upset and said I could not do that again and that it was considered a date. I was indignant and could not understand how a simple ride could be a date and what a ridiculous excuse to keep me away from him!

Well, it only took 24 years and a freshman of my own.

$100

I have been given $100 that cannot be used for bills, groceries, or the boring daily grind. The problem is, there are a lot of things I can do with $100.

• the hated but much needed clothes shopping
• barstools
• hall table
• bathroom mats
• take a step in completing the landscaping
• computer software
• put towards a vacation
• prints of family portraits taken in November

Oooh, I can’t decide!

The Business of Flowers

Since my last post related to Expressive Florals, I have done a lot. I registered the name with the state, got an Employee Identification Number (EIN), and tax license. I have set up a website, a Facebook page, and researched and prepared to set up a Pinterest site. I have done a lot of research about marketing, business ideas, financing, vendors, decorating, the list goes on.

Because of all the research and work I have put into it, I am very invested and excited about the many ideas I have for a shop. The whole reason I  have done all of this is to purchase a shop in town that the owner wants to sell but has never officially put on the market. I have done everything I could to find the financing for this venture. I went ahead with many things thinking it would be a lot of time and work, but that financing would come through. After six months, I have discovered there is no way for me to get the financing I need. The only option left is for the owner to be my creditor and let me make the monthly payments straight to her. This would be a big risk, they have no guarantee or recourse if I do not make the payments. But they want to be rid of the shop badly enough I thought they might consider it. I didn’t have high hopes and started preparing for this whole idea to fall apart. She told me if this doesn’t work, they may just close the doors come spring. I hoped they would want my payments before doing that and if I didn’t make the payments, they could still close the shop and no harm no foul to them.

They have decided to put the shop up for sale. And as much as I knew this would probably happen, it is still disappointing and hard to let go. The only hope I still hold to is that after trying to sell, it they may reconsider, or it will take a couple of years at which time I may be able to get the financing I am not capable of at this time.

I Hate Piano!!!

For about a year now, Kara has been trying to convince me to let her stop taking piano because she does not enjoy it. I keep telling her that everyone who quits always regrets it and she has to keep on until she reaches a certain level.

This video is poor quality, and I don’t know why she is blurry. But she signed up on her own for this talent show. And did so with this song in mind; she was learning it, but did not have it learned yet.

http://youtu.be/gv99Ka1S1DI

She was very excited about this song the moment it was assigned to her. She did a great job learning it in time. And she played it over and over the two days before the performance. Yes, she did not want to make mistakes, but she was obviously delighted to be able to play it.

I am so proud of her!

How To Become a Morning Person

I came across a pin on pinterest with this title. I read the info. Most of it was logical and just common sense. All about progressively getting up earlier and earlier, being active, etc.

After reading it, I thought it made sense. And I thought, “Why?” What is the point? I can get up early when I need to.

It took me another hour to realize the info was not what I had expected. Getting up early is not what makes you a morning person. It’s the desire and the attitude; liking to get up and being happy and social once out of bed.

Now, how do you learn that?